Love Pink and Purple

mammogrambutterfliesI’ve just arrived home from Narrabri and a visit with the girls in the big pink and purple mobile van for the bi-annual squishing of the mammary glands, aka regular mammogram screening.

Whilst the staff and technicians are always very professional and friendly I can’t help feeling that the man, or in most cases thank goodness, woman handling of my normally well hidden parts in the fashion they need to be, is like throwing a rather thick steak on the George Foreman and exerting pressure on the top section to ensure the grill lines on your sirloin are uniform and it all looks decorative on the plate!

Only trouble is; this plate is usually rather chilly which I guess is preferable to a sizzling hot griddle and thankfully modern technology means the whole process doesn’t take nearly as long as it used to, nor does it seem as painful. I commented on this last observation to my friendly radiologist/ radiographer who replied that as we get older there’s less sensitivity which equates to less pain. Outwardly I say “WOO HOO! BONUS”! Sub-consciously I’m thinking, “BUGGER”! something else that’s of no use any more!

As I stand there wishing I’d paid more attention to the exercises that firm and tone everything and vowing to be at least taut, if not trim by the next time…, I contemplate the usefulness of a hospital gown or some other open fronted top that would at least provide me with some modicum of cover in between the lifting, pushing, pulling and squishing.

Obediently I press my cheek into the appropriate place on the machine and grasp the bar on the back, stretch just enough to look at the identified object on the wall but at the same time keeping my feet flat on the floor, breathing gently (!) and my spare hand on a hip, but not in such a fashion that it pokes the tech as she changes the angle for the next photo shoot.

In no time of course it’s over and with my clothes and confidence returned I thank the friendly staff and depart the pink and purple mobile unit contemplating the thousands of lives that have been saved by this wonderful service that comes (almost) to my door.

How long since your last visit?


5 thoughts on “Love Pink and Purple

  1. We only endure it for three reasons. 1. You feel better when it is done 2. You feel safer when it is done and 3. Knowing you have done the right thing is so good!!

  2. I am due for the torture in October. You make is sound better than I remember it was last time. My twin granddaughters wore pink and purple when they were babies. They are 12 now.

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